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 [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]

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Maël Aldwen
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Maël Aldwen


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 117
Age : 34
Maison : Poudlard pendant l'année, Teddington en été! Ex Serdaigle.
Baguette Magique : 29 CM, Pin, Racine de Mandragore.
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Enfant de Moldu^^
Date d'inscription : 19/09/2007

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[SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] Empty
MessageSujet: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyMer 28 Nov - 17:23

NB: Bon, voila... Ma première Fic HP. J'en suis assez contente, même quelques temps après, ce qui est assez rare>< Si les Admins/Modos pensent que c'est encore trop tôt pour publier des Fics sur DH, ils peuvent supprimer le post, je comprendrais^^


Parted Heart.


AUTHOR: Fania a. k. a. Fanfan or Fanderpg

KIND OF STORY: One Shot.

BASED ON: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

DISCLAIMER: Don't play silly, you perfectly know they're not mine!

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Second English Fic ever! I hope you’ll enjoy it! Oh, and by the way, if you notice any mistake or something like that, please feel free to tell me! Kiss everybody!

Parted Heart.


I felt like if I was looking at myself into a mirror –except for the ears: He still had both of it.

Mum was hysterically sobbing, while Dad’s eyes were wide in shock, as if he had seen the body for the first time. Bill’s back faced me, as he buried his face in Fleur’s neck, deeply smelling the scent of her hair, to get a little comfort.

Silent tears poured down Charlie’s face, and his arm was around Percy’s shoulders, which were shaking as well as his whole body. He kept saying the same words again and again ‘He was kidding… he was kidding!’…

Ron’s face was hidden both by his hands and by Hermione’s hair as she tried to comfort him. Ginny… Ginny looked at the floor, probably not wishing to see such a picture.

For my own, I remained quiet, my eyes as dry as the desert, unable to say anything. Unable to think anything else that ‘At least he’s smiling’… My pain was beyond tears, beyond words…

Time came to burry the dead, in the cemetery Professor McGonnagall had decided to land near of Dumbledore’s grave.

‘They died in Hogwarts, for the future generations being able to study here. They deserve this.’ She had say.

Dad came across Fred’s body and was about to take him in his arms, but I pushed him out of the way.

‘Don’t you dare lay a single fingernail on him’ I said with a sharp voice in didn’t recognize as mine. ‘This is my office.’

He was my brother. He was my twin. He was part of me he was my Fred. And if destiny had decided we were to leave on different times, I was never to let anyone else stop me from bringing him in his last home. Not even Dad.

I think I hurt them, for each of their twenty eyes were wide in shock, as if I was mad, but I didn’t mind. It was my office, my last duty to my brother. I took Fred’s dead body in my arms and began walking toward the big white grave. There was a tree nearby and, from under it, people could see both the castle and the lake, shining under the last sunrays…

‘This will be a good place to spend the eternity, don’t you think so Freddie?’

I knew he was not to answer me. I knew it very well. But still, I couldn’t stop the question. I had never done anything without his approval. Maybe this sounds odd, but still. And, you know, old habits are hard to break…

The hole had already been made. Gently, I laid my brother in the coffin Dad had produced with his wand and, raising mine, I buried him, still unable to cry.

Silently, I took a step backward, as mum produced the grave. Every member of the family, extending to Harry, Fleur and Hermione, managed to write some nice phrase. I was only able to write what we called our sign: an ‘F’ entwined to a ‘G’. ‘F’ and ‘G’ for ‘Gred’ and ‘Forges’. F and G for ‘you are me and I am you’. For ‘I miss you so much’. For ‘A part of me lies here with you’.

‘F’ and ‘G’ for ‘Life will never be as tasty without you.’

Seconds of silence became a minute. Then two. Three. And the other members went off, leaving me alone under sky, which whereas it was blue and bright, could not fight the coldness that filled my heart.

I don’t know how long I remained there, looking at the grave and at Fred’s picture, which was smiling at me.

Finally, I sat down and looked at his picture, right in his eyes.

‘Y’know you’re a bastard, don’t you? I thought you’d wait for me. We promised, remember?’

Night was coming, and I felt the weather becoming colder, but I didn’t care.

‘Y’know, I’ll miss you. Things are never gonna be the same again.’ I paused, my throat burning. ‘Shit, Freddie, why did you have to die? If you wanted some attention you could have lost something, y’know, a finger or something like that… who’s gonna stop me when my experiences will be too dangerous now? Y’know I never obey mum…’

Fred’s picture was looking at me with a poor, sad smile, and I felt the urge of throwing it in the lake. It was only his picture. Only. And I… I wanted my brother. I looked to the Forbidden Forest, not knowing what I was looking for…

And suddenly he was here.

He stood in front of me, looking at me with a poor, sad look. He was not like a ghost. First, he had feet. He was of a pale blue shade and, although I could see through him, it appeared I could really touch him…

And for the first time, I felt something wet on my cheek. Staring up at the cloudless sky, I knew I was crying. God… it hurt.

Behind him was a gate, of the same pale blue he was… and behind the gate, Dumbledore. And Snape. And Tonks. And Lupin. And Black. And Harry’s parents. They seemed to be waiting for something…or someone.

‘I can’t stay here for a long time’ he said, and his voice sounded like if he was meters away. ‘you’re not supposed to see me.’

He raised his hand and dried my tears, and it felt like a sweet, cool wind.

‘I’m sorry I couldn’t wait’ he whispered. ‘really. But when it’ll be your turn… I’ll come. I promise I’ll be the first person you’ll see when you’ll join us. But, until then…’

‘I won’t see you.’

‘Yeah.’

He took my left hand and gave me a small, beautiful collar, which seemed to be made of the same blue light as Fred and the gate. Looking with ;ore attention, I realized it was the medallion I had give him on our tenth birthday. It was a single circle, with a F entwined to a G.

‘I’ll be there. I promise. I have to go now.’

And he stepped toward Dumbledore and the others, and I managed to smile a little. I looked at the gate, which was slowly disappearing, for a moment longer, and I went back to Hogwarts, my heart a lot lighter than before.

0oOo0


Time passed.

I’m a grown up man now. A grown up man lying on the road, covered with blood, in front of the silver blue car that hit me while I was crossing the street. What a silly death for a wizard.

People shout something like ‘call the police’ and I guess they are Muggles. Peter, my son, put his jacket under my head, as pillow.

‘Thank you son’ I say. ‘But I’m afraid it’s useless.’ I can already see Fred’s face above mine, his lips adorned with a gentle smile.

‘You’ll be okay dad, you’ll be okay!’

I shake my head and smile to him, before facing Fred.

‘Are you afraid?’ He asks.

‘No. Does it hurt?’

‘No. Sirius uses to say that it’s easier than falling asleep.’

‘Okay.’ I turn my face and my eyes meet Peter’s, which are full of tears. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. Not the way you meant, but I’ll be okay. C’m’on, you’re a big boy now. You can understand. Death is only a step, believe me. Tell your mother I love her please.’ He nods. ‘I love you too, Peete.’

I can feel Fred’s wind-like hand holding mine and my soul stands up. On the ground, Peter’s closing my dead body’s eyes. I look at my brother, and I feel complete again.

As if, for all these long years, I had been half-hearted and, now, I find again my other half.

Kneeling on the ground, I put a gentle kiss on my son's forehead, before hugging Fred.

'Shall we go now? Severus, Albus and Dad are waiting for us.'

I look behind him, and I see the gate and, behind, Dad, Snape and Dumbledore, looking at my brother and I.

'Mum's making an apple pie tonight, and they don't want to miss it.'

'Mum's not dead!' I reply, surprised.

'I know.' He says. 'There are many things you have to learn. Y'know, death is really something terrible.'

I look at him with suspicion but he only smiles.

'Well, I don't want Professor Snape to be angry... so let's go.'

I take a last look to my son crying on the ground and, my fingers firmly entwined to Fred's, I walk toward the Gate and the Other World.

---------------------------------------------------------

So, what's you opinion? Wonderful, keep training, never write another fic again? Anyway, Review please!
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Selena Selwyn
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Selena Selwyn


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 79
Age : 30
Maison : Poufsouffle
Baguette Magique : 23,7 cm, bois de saule, plume de Phénix ...
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Sang-Mêlé
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2007

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[SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] Empty
MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyMer 5 Déc - 19:54

-" ‘They died in Hogwarts, for the future generations being able to study here. They deserve this.’ She had say. "
" She had said. "

Parce que c'est un Plus-Que-Parfait nan ? ou j'sais plus quoi ... J'le fais à l'oreille en fait, donc j'peux pas te dire la raison grammaticale de l'erreur (si s'en est bien une). ^^

-" I knew he was not to answer me."
" I knew he was not going to answer me. "

Oubli ou c'était vraiment ce que tu voulais dire ?

- "Maybe this sounds odd, but still."
" Maybe this sounded odd, but still."

Tu racontes l'histoire au passé, donc le verbe ici, serait au passé aussi j'pense ... nan ?

- " Sirius uses to say that it’s easier than falling asleep . "
"Sirius used to say that it’s easier than falling asleep"

Comme c'était y'a longtemps "il avait l'habitude de dire ...", donc on met le verbe au passé ... Enfin c'est pas très clair. Mais bon ^^ Si t'as pas compris tu peux m'envoyer un Mp.

~~~~~


Review : I really liked the part of the funeral. I thought that George's emotions were quite well expressed, in a way that you almost feel what he's feelling. But then again, I'm sort of emotional sometimes so it might just be me. The ending I thought was, sort of trivial (as in common), 'cause it's as you said ; it's sort of weird for a wizard to die so easily. A car accident ... it's a bit ... well trivial ^^
But if you generalize my opinion I like it. Keep training lol !
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Samuel Doucine
Poufsouffle ~ 7ème
Poufsouffle ~ 7ème
Samuel Doucine


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 69
Age : 34
Maison : Poufsouffle
Baguette Magique : 30 cm, Bois de chêne flotté, Racine de Mandragore.
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Enfant de Moldus
Date d'inscription : 17/10/2007

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MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyJeu 6 Déc - 18:47

Selenya a écrit:
" Sirius uses to say that it’s easier than falling asleep . "
"Sirius used to say that it’s easier than falling asleep"

Comme c'était y'a longtemps "il avait l'habitude de dire ...", donc on met le verbe au passé ... Enfin c'est pas très clair. Mais bon ^^ Si t'as pas compris tu peux m'envoyer un Mp.

En fait, c'est Fred qui parle, donc il voit toujours sirius, donc le présent fontionne^^ Mais c'est peut-être pas très clair ^^'

Anyway, thanks for correcting my mistakes^^ I'll have to fix it later!

and yaeh, as george perfectly thinks it: a car accident's a silly death for a wizard (althought I bet there are pretty silly magical ways of dying too XD [but they're for Luna.])
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Selena Selwyn
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Selena Selwyn


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 79
Age : 30
Maison : Poufsouffle
Baguette Magique : 23,7 cm, bois de saule, plume de Phénix ...
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Sang-Mêlé
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2007

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MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyJeu 6 Déc - 20:45

xD. J'continue le débat.

T'as écrit "Sirius a l'habitude de dire ...", mais Sirius est mort. Donc c'est au passé qu'on le met. "Sirius avait l'habitude de dire ..."

Ensuite si je comprend bien, c'est que comme George voit Sirius il parle comme s'il ce dernier était toujours vivant. Mais en anglais cette expression n'existe pas avec le verbe " to use " au présent ou du moins ne sonne pas très bien j'pense. Ensuite il se peut que j'ai tort, mais bon ... ^^
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Maël Aldwen
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Maël Aldwen


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 117
Age : 34
Maison : Poudlard pendant l'année, Teddington en été! Ex Serdaigle.
Baguette Magique : 29 CM, Pin, Racine de Mandragore.
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Enfant de Moldu^^
Date d'inscription : 19/09/2007

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MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyJeu 6 Déc - 21:25

D'accord, je sais ce que tu n'as pas compris XD

En fait, Fred est Mort. donc il est dans le monde des Morts avec Sirius. Donc pour eux, c'est à peu près comme s'ils étaient vivants. donc pour Fred, c'est du présent^^

Et pour moi l'expression existe au présent, mais je peu me tromper... faudra que je demande à ma prof d'anglais tiens...
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Selena Selwyn
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Poufsouffle ~ 4ème
Selena Selwyn


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 79
Age : 30
Maison : Poufsouffle
Baguette Magique : 23,7 cm, bois de saule, plume de Phénix ...
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Sang-Mêlé
Date d'inscription : 29/08/2007

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MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyJeu 6 Déc - 23:55

Ch'uis persistante ^^

Ben ... J'pense pas connaître l'histoire mieux que toi (ben non, vu que c'est toi qui l'a écrite ^^). Mais moi, j'ai compris qu'en fait il était toujours vivant quand il dit ça, vu que deux secondes après il tourne la tête vers son fils.

Donc en gros j'pense pas que tu puisses utiliser la forme "avoir l'habitude de" en anglais avec le verbe " to use to" au passé. C'est un peu comme une expression idiomatique, tu peux pas trop la traduire en gardant le même temps de verbe ...

En gros si j'étais toi j'mettrais soit : "Sirius used to say ..." ou " Sirius says ..."

"Sirius avait l'habitude de ..." (vu qu'il est mort) ou "Sirius dit que ..." (vu que Fred le voit donc c'est un peu un mélange mort-vivantprésent-passé) xD

Et en éliminant les fautes et tout ça [parce que je sens qu'on va encore débattre longtemps xD] c'est bien comme histoire, comme je l'ai dit précédemment. Y'a juste la mort un peu "stupide" de George ... Mais bon, en même temps, si ça se toruve il attendait ce moment depuis la mort de son frère jumeau ... ???
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Maël Aldwen
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Maël Aldwen


Féminin
Nombre de messages : 117
Age : 34
Maison : Poudlard pendant l'année, Teddington en été! Ex Serdaigle.
Baguette Magique : 29 CM, Pin, Racine de Mandragore.
Pur // moldu // mêlé : Enfant de Moldu^^
Date d'inscription : 19/09/2007

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MessageSujet: Re: [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais]   [SPOILERS DH] Parted Heart [OS, Anglais] EmptyVen 7 Déc - 20:18

Voui, oublions les fautes XD

Quant au sentiment de Georges, ben... Faut demander à Rowling ce qu'il en est vraiment^^

(Mais dans ma tête la réponse est OUI!)
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